Holidays – Renew Inspiration Mind Body Spirit

Conquer Grief During the Holidays

LaPorterNovember 22, 20211 Reply

The loneliest walk you’ll ever take is the one down the road of grief. – Author Unknown

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Welcome back to Renew Inspiration! I don’t know about you, but I’ve found that the holidays can be a time of sadness, pain, anger or dread for anyone dealing with an illness, grief or the loss of a loved one. Let’s take a moment to identify some very important coping skills that will help you or someone you know conquer grief during the holidays.

- Be kind and offer yourself some grace – Everyone has unique grief experiences. Give yourself permission to feel whatever it is you’re feeling. If you feel sad, allow the tears to come; if you feel angry, allow yourself to vent some steam in a safe manner.
- Set realistic expectations for yourself – Remind yourself that this year is different. Be sure to get plenty of rest and nourishment. Do not take on more than you can handle.
- Ask for and accept help – It’s okay to tell your loved ones the best way that they can help you during this difficult time. If you desire the affection of others, seek it out. Remember, ask and you shall receive.
- Set healthy boundaries with family and friends – Allow yourself time to grieve and understand what you’re feeling inside. Decide new holiday routines when you’re ready and feel comfortable.
- Surround yourself with people who love and support you – Sharing your feelings is often the best way to get through them and finding people you can talk to will help.
- Write journal entries to express yourself – Don’t be afraid to express yourself and tune into your grief emotions while writing journal entries.
- Make a difference in your community – Give to your favorite charity organization, purchase a gift for a needy child or consider volunteering at a homeless shelter. This can help you cope with your grief by contributing to the greater good within your community.

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GREAT IDEAS TO HONOR YOUR LOVED ONE

In this hollow I do grieve for all the things that cease to be. – Angie Weiland-Crosby

Choose to create a special way to memorialize your loved one this holiday season. Here’s some great ideas you can use to honor your loved one and keep their memories alive:

Light a candle.
Arrange to have a prayer vigil.
Create an online tribute.
Make a memorial ornament, wreath or holiday decoration.
Share your favorite story, quote or poem.
Release balloons or sky lanterns.
Plant a tree and create a stone garden.
Visit your loved one’s special place.
Recite a special prayer and choose to have a moment of silence.
Make a donation to a charity of your choice.

Keep in mind, the best gift you can give anyone you love is that of being true to yourself and living your life to the fullest, even as you adjust to the loss of a loved one during the holidays. With time, patience, and the right coping skills I am certain you will conquer grief during this holiday season and beyond!

PRAYER

God of love and mercy, embrace all those whose hearts today overflow with grief, unanswered questions and such a sense of loss. Immerse them in your love and lead them through this darkness into your arms, and light. Grant them space to express their tears. Hold them close through the coming days. Amen.

JOURNAL PROMPTS

Missing you comes in waves, tonight I’m drowning. – Unknown Author

I love journaling because it is a safe place for me to put my feelings and emotions into words, then put my words into action. Remember, journaling is your very own personal journey throughout life, your ups and downs, your successes, and failures. Journaling also allows for past reflection, future insight, and present surrender. Ready, set, write!

Why are you grieving?
What is your fondest memory of your loved one?
What are some of your grief triggers?
Why do you feel lost and broken?
What was your high and low on today?
What do you know to be true in this moment?
How do you prefer to honor your loved one during the holiday season?

Believe in yourself today, tomorrow and forever!

Affiliate Disclaimer: This site contains affiliate links, which means I may receive a commission if you purchase through any of the links (at no additional cost to you).

Lost and Broken

LaPorterDecember 19, 20187 Replies

Broken Heart, Lost, Broken, Grief, Holidays — pixabay

Affiliate Disclaimer: This site contains affiliate links, which means I may receive a commission if you purchase through any of the links (at no additional cost to you).

Missing you comes in waves, tonight I’m drowning. – Unknown Author

Special Thought – Happiness is my choice. Decide every morning that you are in a good mood.

Welcome back to Renew Inspiration! I am truly lost and broken on today. It has been 3 years since my beautiful mother left her earthly body to be in heaven. I find myself repeating this quote from time to time:

A million words would not bring her back, I know because I’ve tried. Neither would a million tears, I know because I cried. – Unknown Author

I realize deep in my heart that she is in a better place where she will no longer be in pain while struggling to breathe due to her failing lungs. My mother suffered from severe COPD for about 5 years or so. I watched her change from an independent, vibrant, and feisty woman to one who struggled to care for herself on a daily basis. Watching her go through this terrible transition honestly broke me down to my core. It hurt me so much because I could not do anything to help her overcome this obstacle, this awful illness, that she had to endure. This whole experience left me totally lost and broken even until this day.

If I had to find a happy place throughout this experience, I would have to say that my mother and I grew closer to one another. We had a special bond that could never be broken. Even that last night together, I was able to bathe her and pray for her. That was a special moment that will forever be in my heart. She smiled as I left her room that night. I smiled back as I said, “I love you mom.” Not knowing that was the last time I would see her alive. My positive memories will never replace her presence in my life, seeing her warm smile or hearing her laughter. Honestly, I feel her spirit every day and she visit me in dreams often. Sometimes the dreams seem so real.

Losing our loved ones is hard and painful but losing them during the holidays is even harder. Believe it or not, writing my feelings out in a journal helps me sort out my thoughts. I’m able to release the hurt, loneliness, pain, anger, and heartache all in one place without judgment. With time, I know I will learn to live and express myself differently, but for now writing is my first choice throughout this lost and broken journey.

My mouth says, “I’m okay.” My fingers text, “I’m fine.” My heart says, I’m broken.” – Unknown Author

White Rose, Heart, Lost, Broken, Holidays, Grief — pixabay

AFFIRMATIONS – (aimhappy.com)

• Trust the process/journey.

• Peace and comfort are my main priority.

• I am open to this moment.

• I am connected to what really matters in my life.

• I am a living, breathing example of the kind of world I want to live in.

flowers, notebook, pen, coffee, goals — pexels

TIME FOR REFLECTION – JOURNAL PROMPTS

• Why do I feel lost and broken on today?

• What do I know to be true in this moment?

• What do I want more of in my life?

• What am I ready to let go of?

• What was my high and low today?

• What questions am I facing right now?

• When was the last time I felt truly at peace?

SHARE YOUR COMMENTS

Have you ever felt lost and broken throughout life? Have you ever lost a loved one during the holidays? If so, how did you cope with your grief and pain? Please share your life experiences in the comment section.

Believe in yourself today, tomorrow and forever!

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Coping with Grief

LaPorterNovember 29, 201810 Replies

Grief never ends…But it changes. It’s a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith…It is the price of love. – Author Unknown

Something to Think About – Whenever grief tries to steal the beauty of your memories just remember love never dies.

In Loving Memory
of
Rosalynn K. Russell
November 29, 1942 – December 19, 2015

Coping with Grief, Mother — Rosalynn K. Russell

Welcome back to Renew Inspiration! Today’s blog post is dedicated to my late mother, Rosalynn K. Russell. Happy Birthday, Mom! Today, would’ve been her 76th birthday! I miss her presence, her smile, her touch, her laughter. I miss everything about her. She was a small woman in stature but had a big heart and was willing to help anyone in need. November and December are the most difficult months for me while I continue to cope with grief and the loss of my beautiful and loving mother.

The loneliest walk you’ll ever take is the one down the road of grief. – Author Unknown

Unfortunately, the holidays can be a time of sadness, pain, anger or dread for anyone dealing with an illness, grief or the loss of a loved one. Unfortunately, grief can also magnify the stress that is often already a part of the holidays.

Here’s some effective ways to cope with grief during the holidays:

• Offer yourself some grace – Give yourself permission to feel whatever it is you’re feeling. If you feel sad, allow the tears to come; if you feel angry, allow yourself to vent some steam.

• Be kind to yourself – Be sure to get plenty of rest and nourishment you need; do not take on more than you can handle; if you need to be alone, then honor that. If you desire the affection of others, seek it out.

• Ask for and accept help – It’s okay to tell your loved ones the best way that they can help you during this difficult time.

• Find support – Sharing your feelings is often the best way to get through them and finding people you can talk to will help. Family and friends can be a great support during times of grief. If they are unavailable, seek help from a grief support group in your area.

• Make a difference – Give to your favorite charity organization or purchase a gift for a needy child. Consider volunteering at a nursing home, hospital, hospice, children’s shelter or soup kitchen. This can help you cope with your grief by contributing to the greater good within your community.

During the holidays, it’s alright to have a good time in spite of your grief. Just allow yourself to feel whatever your heart is feeling in the moment. The best gift you can give anyone you love is that of being true to yourself and living your life to the fullest, even as you adjust to the loss of a loved one.

Healing unfolds in its own time; it doesn’t look to the clock or calendar for direction. – Jen, aimhappy.com

TIME FOR REFLECTION – JOURNAL PROMPTS

I am no longer who I was. Loss has reshaped me. – Benjamin Allen

Journaling is a powerful tool for coping with grief and loss.

• Why are you grieving?

• What is your fondest memory?

• When alone, what do you do?

• What season holds the most memories?

• The hardest time of day is ___________________.

• My support system includes __________________.

• I really need more of _____________________.

• I am really having a hard time coping with _____________________.

• I find it most difficult when ______________________.

• Some of my grief triggers are ________________________.

SHARE YOUR COMMENTS

How do you cope with grief? Do you allow yourself to feel during this most difficult time?

Believe in yourself today, tomorrow and forever!

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Sweet November

LaPorterNovember 15, 20187 Replies

Fall Leaves, November, Seasons Changing — pixabay

Something to Think About – Those who think there is a time limit when grieving, have never lost a piece of their heart.

Welcome back to Renew Inspiration! Sweet November is here. November holds a special place in my heart. November is National Adoption Awareness Month and my mother’s birthday is on November 29th.

I didn’t give you the gift of life, life gave me the gift of you. – Unknown Author

Adoption, November, Foster Care, Child — pixabay

November is recognized as National Adoption Awareness Month. For over two decades, National Adoption Month has been promoted and celebrated in communities across the United States. We must recognize the importance of providing loving and permanent families for children in the United States foster care system. In 2011, my husband and I did just that. We fostered, then adopted our two sons to help support these efforts and to grow our family. This initiative focuses on outreach and builds awareness throughout the month of November. Let’s help celebrate this month by spreading the word and helping our children find loving and safe homes.

Adopt a child…if you can’t adopt,
Foster a child…if you can’t foster,
Sponsor a child…if you can’t sponsor,
Volunteer at a local agency or homeless shelter…if you can’t volunteer,
Donate to a local agency or charity of your choice…if you can’t donate,
Spread the word and educate others!

Click the link for more information:
https://www.childwelfare.gov

A child born to another woman calls me mommy. The magnitude of that tragedy and the depth of that privilege are not lost on me. – Jody Landers

Needless to say, my emotions are all over the place around this time of the year. It’s so ironic how my mother was born in November 1942 around the Thanksgiving Holiday. Then, she became very ill around the Thanksgiving Holiday in 2015 and passed away right before the Christmas Holiday. Sometimes I wish time would stand still and I don’t have to relive the pain that comes during this time of the year. While everyone else is excited for the holidays, I dread it with everything within me. The holidays are not the same without my mother physically being here. Yes, I have memories and pictures, but it is not the same. No amount of journaling, blogging or therapy sessions will save you from the emotional turmoil that you experience and feel throughout the grieving process.

Grief never ends, but it changes. It’s a passage, but not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith, it is the price of love. – Unknown Author

Even though there are 5 stages of grief and loss, people who are grieving do not necessarily go through the stages in the same order or experience all of them. The stages of grief and mourning are universal in nature and are experienced by people from all walks of life, across many cultures. Mourning occurs in our lives in response to an individual’s own terminal illness, the loss of a close relationship, or to the death of a valued being, human or animal. While mourning, we spend different lengths of time working through each step and express each stage with different levels of intensity.

5 STAGES OF GRIEF & LOSS – On Death and Dying written by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Loss and heartache do not define you. They are part of your story. – Unknown Author

• Denial & Isolation – The first reaction is to deny and isolate yourself from the reality of the situation. Most people block out the painful words and hide from the facts. Some people will believe that nothing is of any value any more, not even life itself. For most people, this stage of grief and loss is a temporary response that carries us through the first wave of pain.

• Anger – As denial and isolation leaves us, reality and its pain re-emerge. Now, the intense emotion people feel turns into anger. The anger may be toward objects, complete strangers, friends or family. Even though deep down inside the person knows this feeling of anger is wrong, they may even be directing it toward dying or deceased loved ones as well.

• Bargaining – In the next stage, there are feelings of helplessness and vulnerability as a way to regain control through a series of “if only” statements, such as “If only we had sought medical attention sooner” or “If only we got a second opinion from another doctor.” Unfortunately, this is an attempt to bargain with God or our higher power in order to postpone our pain. Guilt often accompanies bargaining as well. The person believes there was something they could have done differently to have helped save their loved ones’ life.

• Depression – In the next stage, the person may start to be overwhelmed with sadness or regret which turns into worry. This phase may be eased by simple reassurance from others around them. Another phase of depression is when the person is more private and tries to bid a farewell to their loved one in silence. In this case, a hug or a kind gesture will comfort them.

• Acceptance – Reaching this stage of grieving is a gift not afforded to everyone. Death may be sudden and unexpected, or we may never see beyond our anger or denial. Unfortunately, this phase is marked by withdrawal and calm.

Please keep in mind that everyone grieves differently. There is no right or wrong way. Some people will wear their emotions on their face and be outwardly emotional. Other people will experience their grief more internally and may not cry at all. Remember, do not judge how a person experiences their grief, as each person will experience it differently.

Grief is not a disorder, a disease or sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve. – Earl Grollman

When I Think of Death written by Maya Angelou

When I think of death, and of late the idea has come with alarming frequency, I seem at peace with the idea that a day will dawn when I will no longer be among those living in this valley of strange humors. I can accept the idea of my own demise, but I am unable to accept the death of anyone else. I find it impossible to let a friend or relative go into that country of no return. Disbelief becomes my dose companion, and anger follows in its wake. I answer the heroic question ‘Death, where is thy sting?’ with ‘it is here in my heart and mind memories.’

stones, sunlight, God, presence, peace, happiness, calm — pexels

TIME FOR REFLECTION – COPING WITH GRIEF

It’s hard to forget someone; who gave you so much to remember. – Unknown Author

• Pick a quote. One that you like seems to be the most obvious choice, but you also might find it helpful to write about a quote that you feel yourself wanting to push away from.

• Write about what you find meaningful in the quote. How does it fit with your own journey and learning?

• Write about what you resist in the quote. What makes it hard to live with?

• What invitation do you feel in the quote?

• What do you need in your life to live into the invitation?

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JOURNAL PROMPTS – COPING WITH GRIEF

No matter how long it’s been, there are times when it suddenly becomes hard to breathe. – Unknown Author

• Today, I am really missing…

• I am having a hard time with…

• The hardest time of day is…

• The hardest time of the year is…

• I have been feeling a lot of…

• I could use some more…

• I find it helpful when…

• I feel most connected with my loved one when I…

• A comforting memory of my loved one is…

• I can honor my loved one by…

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS/COMMENTS

Have you ever thought about fostering or adopting a child from a local agency? If so, please share your experiences.

Coping with grief and loss is ultimately a deeply personal experience. Nobody can help you go through it more easily or understand all the emotions that you’re going through. But loved ones and friends can be there for you to help comfort you through the process. The best thing you can do is to allow yourself to feel the grief as it comes over you. Remember, as long as there is life, there is hope. As long as there is hope, there is life.

Have you experienced any stages of grief? If so, how did you cope throughout the stages? Were you alone and isolated or did you allow your family/friends to comfort you?

Believe in yourself today, tomorrow and forever!