Today I will not stress over things I can’t control. – Unknown Author
Affiliate Disclaimer: This site contains affiliate links, which means I may receive a commission if you purchase through any of the links (at no additional cost to you).
Welcome back to Renew Inspiration! Today, I want to share some information with you concerning trauma and stress. To begin with, trauma can be defined as a deeply distressing or disturbing experience in one’s life. Unfortunately, traumatic events are usually unexpected and can cause high stress levels, but also can change the quality of one’s life in many ways.
Here’s some examples of traumatic events that you may experience:
• Loss of a loved one or pet
• Divorce
• Serious Illness
• Physical pain or injury
• Natural disasters
• Parental abandonment
• Witnessing a death
• Rape or domestic abuse
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FACTS ABOUT STRESS
On the other hand, stress can be defined as a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances.
Here’s some interesting facts about stress:
• 90% of what is stressing you today will be irrelevant in a year. Don’t lose sleep over petty things. Get over it and move on.
• If you avoid the conflict to keep the peace, you start a war inside yourself.
• Doing your best does not mean working yourself to the point of mental breakdown.
• Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.
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SIGNS & SYMPTOMS OF STRESS
Moreover, the signs and symptoms of stress may last a few days, a few weeks or a few months. With the support of loved ones, the stress reactions usually pass more quickly.
• Thinking – Difficulty making decisions, Confusion, Memory problems, Difficulty in problem solving, Poor attention span, Lack of concentration
• Emotional – Anxiety, Fear, Guilt, Grief, Depression, Sadness, Lost or abandoned, Isolation, Irritability, Numbness, Being alone
If the traumatic event is extremely painful for you, be sure to seek professional assistance from a licensed therapist or counselor.
RECOVERY FOR YOURSELF
Here’s some ways you can practice recovery for yourself:
• Express your feelings as soon as they arise.
• Reestablish a normal schedule as soon as possible.
• Spend quality time with loved ones.
• Fight against boredom and get some exercise.
• Go for a walk outdoors to help clear your mind.
• Eat a well-balanced meal even if you don’t feel like it.
• Take a warm bath with lighted candles and calming music.
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SELF-REFLECTION & JOURNAL PROMPTS
Trauma is anything that overwhelms the brains ability to cope. – Unknown Author
Journaling is a powerful way to process events in your life, build self-awareness, get more clarity, and keep yourself on track. Journaling also allows for past reflection, future insight, and present surrender. Now, close your eyes and clear your mind. Grab your pen/pencil. Open your journal or notebook. Ready, set, write!
• How do you handle stressful situations?
• Do you prefer to be by yourself when you experience trauma and stress?
• What is one thing you can do to reduce stress in your life?
• What is the best way to heal trauma and stress?
• How can you honor your body on today?
TIME TO SHARE & COMMENT
Let’s talk. Have you ever experienced trauma in your life? If so, how did you handle it? How do you handle stressful situations? Please share your thoughts in the comments section. I look forward to reading your feedback!
Believe in yourself today, tomorrow and forever!
Affiliate Disclaimer: This site contains affiliate links, which means I may receive a commission if you purchase through any of the links (at no additional cost to you).
You have left my side, but you will never leave my heart. – Unknown Author
Affiliate Disclaimer: This site contains affiliate links, which means I may receive a commission if you purchase through any of the links (at no additional cost to you).
Special Thought – I keep myself busy with things to do, but every time I pause, I still think of you.
Welcome back to Renew Inspiration! Today I want to share my personal feelings about grief and pet loss. Many of us share an intense love and bond with our pets. I don’t know about you, but I feel that a pet is not “just a dog” or “just a cat,” but rather a beloved member of your family. Pets offer you companionship, fun, and joy to your life.
In addition, for some people, a pet can also:
• Add structure to your day
• Keep you active and social
• Help you to overcome setbacks and challenges in life
• Provide a sense of meaning or purpose
This has been an emotional week for me and my family. Our Boxer/Sharpei mix was 15 years old and suffered pains due to arthritis. Within the last three years, we’ve watched our beloved pet experience declining health on various levels so we agreed to put him down on Friday when he could no longer eat and move freely on his own. This was the most difficult decision I’ve had to make in a very long time.
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HOW TO KNOW WHEN IT’S TIME TO PUT A PET TO SLEEP
Deciding to put your pet to sleep is one of the most difficult decisions you will ever have to make for your pet. As a loving pet owner, though, the time may come when you need to help your pet make the transition from life to death. Important things to consider include:
• Activity level – Does your pet still enjoy previously loved activities or are they able to be active at all?
• Response to care and affection – Does your pet still interact and respond to love and care in the usual ways?
• Amount of pain and suffering – Is your pet experiencing pain and suffering which outweigh any pleasure and enjoyment in life?
• Terminal illness or critical injury – Have illness or injury prohibited your pet from enjoying life?
• Your family’s feelings – Is your family unanimous in the decision? If not, and you still feel it is the best thing for your pet, can you live with the decision that you have to make?
If you decide that ending the suffering is in your pet’s best interest, take your time to create a process that is as peaceful as possible for you, your pet, and your family.
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HEALTHY WAYS TO COPE WITH THE GRIEF OF PET LOSS
Grieving is a highly individual experience. Sorrow and grief are normal responses to death. Believe it or not, coping with grief and pet loss can only be dealt with over time, but here’s some healthy ways to help cope with the grief of pet loss:
• Don’t let anyone tell you how to feel. Remember, your grief is your own. Allow yourself to feel whatever you feel without embarrassment or judgment.
• Reach out to others who have lost pets. Check out online message boards and pet loss support groups.
• Create a legacy for your pet by planting a tree in memory of your pet or compiling a photo album or scrapbook.
• Look after yourself. The stress of losing a pet can quickly deplete your energy and emotional reserves. Eat a healthy diet, get plenty of sleep, and exercise regularly.
• Seek professional help if you need it. If your grief is persistent and interferes with your ability to function, your doctor or a mental health professional can evaluate you for depression.
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SELF-REFLECTION & JOURNAL PROMPTS
Everyone is taught that angels have wings, but the lucky ones have four paws. – Unknown Author
Journaling is a powerful way to process events in your life, build self-awareness, get more clarity, and keep yourself on track. Journaling also allows for past reflection, future insight, and present surrender. Upon entering the journaling process, you will find that you are able to reflect freely without judgement. Now, close your eyes and clear your mind. Grab your pen/pencil. Open your journal or notebook. Then, use these helpful journal prompts to help you cope with grief and pet loss:
• Today I remembered…
• The things I miss most…
• How I felt when I was around you…
• A memory that always make me smile…
• When I think of you, I feel…
• How I will continue coping every day…
TIME TO SHARE & COMMENT
Let’s talk. Remember, grief is an active process. It is important to understand that it’s completely normal to mourn the loss of your pet. Have you ever felt grief from losing a pet? If so, how did you cope with grief during this difficult time? Please share your thoughts in the comments section. I look forward to reading your feedback!
Believe in yourself today, tomorrow and forever!
Affiliate Disclaimer: This site contains affiliate links, which means I may receive a commission if you purchase through any of the links (at no additional cost to you).
God uses our trials to build our faith, draw us closer to Him, and give us a testimony of His faithfulness for others to see. – Unknown Author
Affiliate Disclaimer: This site contains affiliate links, which means I may receive a commission if you purchase through any of the links (at no additional cost to you).
Welcome back to Renew Inspiration! Today, I want to discuss two topics that are dear to my heart – faith and grief. Do you often wonder if faith is needed to help you overcome grief? I sometimes think about this very question, but before we can make an attempt to answer the question honestly, we need to know and understand the definitions for both faith and grief.
DEFINITIONS – FAITH & GRIEF
God is still writing your story. Don’t let go of your faith because of what you have to see. – Unknown Author
Faith can be defined as:
• Complete trust or confidence in someone or something.
• Strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof.
Grief can be defined as:
• Deep sorrow, especially that caused by someone’s death.
Now, that we have clear definitions of both faith and grief, you should be able to answer the question – Do you often wonder if faith is needed to help you overcome grief? As for me, I believe you must have some level of faith to help you not only overcome grief, but faith is also needed to help you get through the difficult moments you may experience throughout the grieving process.
In addition, I believe we all have some level of faith within us. For example, when someone we love passes away, it is inevitable that questions of faith, spirituality, grief, and healing arise. All of these feelings and emotions can make you feel so many things at any given time.
FOUR PHASES OF GRIEF
Grief never ends…But it changes. It’s a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith…It is the price of love. – Unknown Author
Believe it or not, understanding the nature of grief can help us better cope with loss. Grief is a natural and healthy process that enables us to recover from terrible emotional wounds that may occur in life. I don’t know about you, but when I experienced the grief process after both of my parents suddenly passed away, my father (July 2003) and my mother (December 2015) passed away, I was forced to deal with my emotions whether I wanted to or not. In addition, I felt surrounded by darkness and heavy waves of anguish. Even though my husband was there right by my side, I still felt alone throughout this difficult time.
Here’s the four phases of grief that you may encounter throughout the grieving process:
• Shock – You may feel numbness inside like you’re trapped in a bad dream.
• Reality – Deep sorrow sets in accompanied by weeping, sadness, and depression.
• Reaction – Anger or guilt may occur toward family and friends.
• Recovery – There is an attempt to accept the loss within that have occurred.
Even though I’ve provided these four phases of grief, remember that these phases may vary in duration from person to person. Why? Because we are all different and experience life challenges in very unique ways. It’s also important to note that these phases may not be experienced at all, but I know I experienced all of them throughout the grieving process. Quite frankly, it was very hard for me and still is from time to time. I not only have to seek professional help, but I also do a lot of research and reading on my own to learn about different ways to help myself cope. When we neglect to go through the grieving process correctly, you often trigger depression, alcoholism, drug abuse, or other serious problems so don’t be afraid to seek professional help or support from loved ones.
MANAGING GRIEF
No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. – C.S. Lewis
No matter how strong we are or how much support we are given throughout the grieving process, grief can affect your thinking, behavior, emotions, relationships, and overall health. I have found that one of the most difficult tasks for a bereaved person to encounter is adjusting to the new environment without the loved one who has passed away. For example, decisions have to be made regarding the appropriate time to put away a loved one’s things, make lifestyle changes, or form new relationships. Again, each person may handle these decisions differently so be careful not to judge.
Here’s three steps to recovery using God as a guide and comforter:
• Step 1 – Grieve – Though grief is bitter to our soul, we must allow sorrow to run its natural course throughout our lives. Denying or repressing pain can lead to emotional problems.
• Step 2 – Believe – It’s important to put our unbreakable faith in God’s promises and not our own.
• Step 3 – Receive – God desires to give us peace and comfort, but we must ask Him for it, then be willing to receive it with an open heart.
WAYS TO HELP OTHERS THROUGH THE GRIEVING PROCESS
Those we love don’t go away, they walk beside us every day. – Unknown Author
Everyone grieves differently – depending on personality, religious beliefs, maturity, emotional stability, support factors, and cultural traditions.
Here’s some ways to help others through the grieving process:
• Ask God for guidance about when to speak and what to say.
• Encourage the bereaved person to share his or her feelings openly, then be willing to listen and don’t judge.
• Be flexible and gentle with yourself and others. Allow the grief and mourning process to unfold naturally.
• Don’t push or preach, but if the person indicates an openness, pray and share meaningful Scriptures, not personal opinions.
• Do simple things without being asked, such as providing a healthy meal, running errands, or making yourself available just to talk.
• Encourage the bereaved person to seek the help of a professional grief counselor or local support group.
COMFORTING SCRIPTURES
Healing is an art. It takes time. It takes practice. It takes place. – Maza Dohta
Seek comfort in your soul by reading the Holy Scriptures. This will allow you to start the healing process and allow you to be comfortable with expressing your feelings.
Here’s a few comforting scriptures to help you get started in the healing process:
• Psalm 23:4 (NKJV) – “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.”
• Isaiah 41:10 (NKJV) – “Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”
• Matthew 5:4 (NKJV) – “Blessed are those who mourn, For they shall be comforted.”
• John 14:26 (NKJV) – “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you.”
• John 16:33 (NKJV) – “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”
My prayer for you today is that you take the words from this blog post and hide them deep in your heart. Take time to reflect on them often throughout your journey. Finding healthy ways to cope with unbreakable faith and grief are a part of life and both contribute to our mental health as well as to our total well-being. I think it is very important for people to learn how to survive hardship at some point in life. For me, I am in the midst of this process and use my Renew Inspiration blog as a positive platform to not only encourage myself, but others as well. Embrace unbreakable faith and grief for yourself, and nurture it in others as they seek peace and comfort at such difficult times in life.
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SELF-REFLECTION & JOURNAL PROMPTS
Faith isn’t a feeling. It’s a choice to trust God even when the road ahead seems uncertain. – David Willis
Here’s some thought-provoking journal prompts that I want you to focus on:
• What do I give permission for myself to do today?
• What is the best way to increase my faith?
• How does faith help you get through the grieving process?
• Why am I grieving right now?
• What is my fondest memory of my loved one who passed away?
• What are some of my grief triggers that affect me the most?
• When you are alone, what do you do?
• What season holds the most memories for you?
• List five ways you’ve become stronger and more faithful this month.
TIME TO SHARE & COMMENT
Faith is all about believing. You don’t know how it will happen, but you know it will. – Unknown Author
Let’s talk. Journaling through grief takes hard work, commitment and unbreakable faith. Faith that will move the mountains in your life. Do you enjoy journaling through the grieving process? How do you use faith to help you overcome the challenges of grief? Please share your honest response in the comment section. I cannot wait to hear from you.
Believe in yourself today, tomorrow and forever!
Affiliate Disclaimer: This site contains affiliate links, which means I may receive a commission if you purchase through any of the links (at no additional cost to you).
The past is your lesson. The present is your gift. The future is your motivation. – Unknown Author
Affiliate Disclaimer: This site contains affiliate links, which means I may receive a commission if you purchase through any of the links (at no additional cost to you).
Welcome back to Renew Inspiration! Today, I want to discuss the process from journaling to blogging. As a start, it’s important to know that journaling is whatever you want it to be. You are in control and can define what journaling means to you. For example, I chose journaling to express myself while grieving the death of my mother. Simply put, journaling can be your creative way to record life in general and all its amazing experiences.
JOURNALING SNAPSHOT
Journaling can be done online or using a journal notebook. Journaling is a form of expression and is always a personal journey to help cleanse one’s soul. For example, when you choose to write in your journal, you can begin the healing process to release various emotions, such as pain, hurt, or guilt; feelings, such as sadness, happiness, or loneliness; practicing self-reflection by designing your journal pages using colorful markers, stickers to add a personal touch, or including pictures and quotes.
Remember, journaling holds all of your emotions, thoughts, and feelings in one sacred place. Journaling has a way to uncover parts of yourself you never thought existed. Journaling can be fun, but also can be a serious process to help you cope with many life’s challenges, such as depression, grief, or loneliness. The most important fact about journaling is you have total control throughout the experience. You can keep it secret or share it with others.
JOURNALING TO FIND YOURSELF
Your life only gets better when you do. Work on yourself and the rest will follow. – Unknown Author
Now, let’s take the journaling process to the next level. How about using the journaling process to find yourself? Journaling is a way to capture ideas and keep your dreams alive until you can put them in motion. We have to be ready and willing to do what’s necessary to grow, to learn, and most importantly, to find yourself.
1. To ponder and pen your big dreams – Your journal is an ideal place to write out all of your desires and dreams. If there were no limits, what would you want to become? Who would you want to meet? What would you have? Where would you go? Write it all down, describing in detail what your success would look like. By doing this, you can begin to put the laws of success attraction into motion.
2. To get clarity and solve problems faster – When you are unable to see a clear path in your life, it’s better to jot down all those thoughts swirling around in your head. Writing things out gives you the accurate perspective necessary to attract the right solutions. Take a moment to write down questions related to your problems. In fact, you should have an attitude of expectancy that you will find the right answers.
3. To chart what works – Journaling about your ideas, successes, and even failures empowers you to backtrack to see what’s working in your life and what’s not. It’s important to be honest with yourself and be willing to make the necessary adjustments where needed to live a rewarding life.
4. To track your past victories – Take a moment to celebrate your victories and write when and where you have excelled in life. It’s easy to remember your every mishap, but also make an effort to note what’s going right in your life as well.
5. To plan and strategize – Use your journal for both short-term and long-term planning. This process will allow you to work through specific strategies on how you will accomplish your goals. Plan everything from the week ahead to the entire year in your journal.
6. To create a success action routine – Your success action routine should consist of time for meditation and visualization, speaking positive affirmations and reviewing your goals. Visualize yourself completing your goals and feeling the benefits and rewards of doing so.
7. To take control over your future – Journaling about your ideal life and begin to act as if you have that life right now. Be descriptive and detailed in your writing. This will help you prepare for an opportunity that doesn’t exist yet, and ready yourself for the victory to come.
8. For self-improvement – Your journal is a safe place where you can truly be honest with yourself. This is your book, your story, your journey. You have no limitations or boundaries. Your journal is private so you can express yourself and get to know who you really are and what you truly desire.
9. To help you through the decision-making process – In your journal, you can list pros and cons when you are faced with having to make a difficult decision. Write out every possible outcome and use this to guide you through the decision-making process.
10. To keep you in a state of gratefulness – As you go through the process to find yourself, stay grateful throughout your journey. Express gratitude in your journal. Slowing down to make note of what you’re thankful for can relieve you of anxiety, stress, and help you to enjoy life to the fullest. In addition, the act of gratefulness also draws more positivity your way, helping you to create a cycle of success.
Then, after a few months, I decided to move from journaling to blogging. Remember, you may go through this same process, but for different reasons.
BLOGGING SNAPSHOT
There are many reasons why people start blogging. Some people start blogging as a hobby and for some people it’s a career. Blogging can be defined as a website containing a writer’s or group of writers’ own experiences, observations, opinions, etc., and often having images and links to other websites, a single entry or post on such a website.
For example, setting up my Renew Inspiration blog was a challenging experience, but yet rewarding at the same time. Through this experience, I found my true passion, inspiring my supportive audience (that’s you) through writing in the form of blogging. So, thank you for believing in me and taking the time to visit my blog often. Remember, this experience is not complete without you.
The blogging experience improves your life in the following ways:
• Help you become a better writer and thinker
• Lead you to a healthier lifestyle and choices
• Inspire other people with encouraging words
• Allow you to network and meet new like-minded people
• Create awareness or getting your voice heard
• Satisfy your creative side and gaining knowledge through research
DOWNSIDE TO BLOGGING
Be brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute experience. – Unknown Author
Blogging is popular because it is a great marketing tool and helps you make money, but it also has a downside.
• Blogging requires a commitment and takes a great deal of time to manage. For blogs to be effective at SEO and engaging readers, it needs to be updated regularly.
• Blogging involves creativity and you having a passion to write about things you enjoy. To keep the content flowing, you have to keep the readers engaged with awesome ideas, tips or suggestions.
• Blogging can provide income for some people, but the payoff is not immediate. One of the biggest frustrations with blogging is that it is time-consuming with little payoff in the beginning. It takes time to build up a readership and momentum.
Whether you are journaling or blogging, it is important to remember, ideas to write about can be found all around you. Take a moment and look around you right where you are. Inspiration is not required to knock at your door twice so enjoy the process as you help find yourself through the experience and inspire others at the same time.
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TIME FOR REFLECTION – JOURNAL PROMPTS
I am blessed. I am beautiful. I am brave. I am bold. I am strong. I am enough. – Unknown Author
Journal Prompts are given to inspire you to write freely about your life and to help you find yourself.
• What does a successful life look like to you?
• What do I want to accomplish in my life today?
• How can I create more acceptance in my life?
• What feels like a struggle at the moment?
• What is your biggest regret?
• How have I been holding myself back?
• What is the best piece of advice you’ve received?
• How can I take a step forward?
SHARE YOUR JOURNALING AND BLOGGING EXPERIENCES
I aspire to be a giver. A giver of love, a giver of good vibes and a giver of strength. – Unknown Author
Do you enjoy journaling and/or blogging? Please share your journaling and blogging experiences. We can learn from one another and grow through one another’s learning experiences.
Believe in yourself today, tomorrow and forever!
Renew Inspiration is a participant in the Amazon, Target, Blue Host and WordPress Affiliate Programs which are advertising programs designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com, Target.com, Bluehost.com and WordPress.com
Affiliate Disclaimer: This site contains affiliate links, which means I may receive a commission if you purchase through any of the links (at no additional cost to you).
Missing you comes in waves, tonight I’m drowning. – Unknown Author
Special Thought – Happiness is my choice. Decide every morning that you are in a good mood.
Welcome back to Renew Inspiration! I am truly lost and broken on today. It has been 3 years since my beautiful mother left her earthly body to be in heaven. I find myself repeating this quote from time to time:
A million words would not bring her back, I know because I’ve tried. Neither would a million tears, I know because I cried. – Unknown Author
I realize deep in my heart that she is in a better place where she will no longer be in pain while struggling to breathe due to her failing lungs. My mother suffered from severe COPD for about 5 years or so. I watched her change from an independent, vibrant, and feisty woman to one who struggled to care for herself on a daily basis. Watching her go through this terrible transition honestly broke me down to my core. It hurt me so much because I could not do anything to help her overcome this obstacle, this awful illness, that she had to endure. This whole experience left me totally lost and broken even until this day.
If I had to find a happy place throughout this experience, I would have to say that my mother and I grew closer to one another. We had a special bond that could never be broken. Even that last night together, I was able to bathe her and pray for her. That was a special moment that will forever be in my heart. She smiled as I left her room that night. I smiled back as I said, “I love you mom.” Not knowing that was the last time I would see her alive. My positive memories will never replace her presence in my life, seeing her warm smile or hearing her laughter. Honestly, I feel her spirit every day and she visit me in dreams often. Sometimes the dreams seem so real.
Losing our loved ones is hard and painful but losing them during the holidays is even harder. Believe it or not, writing my feelings out in a journal helps me sort out my thoughts. I’m able to release the hurt, loneliness, pain, anger, and heartache all in one place without judgment. With time, I know I will learn to live and express myself differently, but for now writing is my first choice throughout this lost and broken journey.
My mouth says, “I’m okay.” My fingers text, “I’m fine.” My heart says, I’m broken.” – Unknown Author
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AFFIRMATIONS – (aimhappy.com)
• Trust the process/journey.
• Peace and comfort are my main priority.
• I am open to this moment.
• I am connected to what really matters in my life.
• I am a living, breathing example of the kind of world I want to live in.
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TIME FOR REFLECTION – JOURNAL PROMPTS
• Why do I feel lost and broken on today?
• What do I know to be true in this moment?
• What do I want more of in my life?
• What am I ready to let go of?
• What was my high and low today?
• What questions am I facing right now?
• When was the last time I felt truly at peace?
SHARE YOUR COMMENTS
Have you ever felt lost and broken throughout life? Have you ever lost a loved one during the holidays? If so, how did you cope with your grief and pain? Please share your life experiences in the comment section.
Believe in yourself today, tomorrow and forever!
Renew Inspiration is a participant in the Target, Blue Host and WordPress Affiliate Programs which are advertising programs designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Target.com, Bluehost.com and WordPress.com
Grief never ends…But it changes. It’s a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith…It is the price of love. – Author Unknown
Something to Think About – Whenever grief tries to steal the beauty of your memories just remember love never dies.
In Loving Memory of Rosalynn K. Russell November 29, 1942 – December 19, 2015
Rosalynn K. Russell
Welcome back to Renew Inspiration! Today’s blog post is dedicated to my late mother, Rosalynn K. Russell. Happy Birthday, Mom! Today, would’ve been her 76th birthday! I miss her presence, her smile, her touch, her laughter. I miss everything about her. She was a small woman in stature but had a big heart and was willing to help anyone in need. November and December are the most difficult months for me while I continue to cope with grief and the loss of my beautiful and loving mother.
The loneliest walk you’ll ever take is the one down the road of grief. – Author Unknown
Unfortunately, the holidays can be a time of sadness, pain, anger or dread for anyone dealing with an illness, grief or the loss of a loved one. Unfortunately, grief can also magnify the stress that is often already a part of the holidays.
Here’s some effective ways to cope with grief during the holidays:
• Offer yourself some grace – Give yourself permission to feel whatever it is you’re feeling. If you feel sad, allow the tears to come; if you feel angry, allow yourself to vent some steam.
• Be kind to yourself – Be sure to get plenty of rest and nourishment you need; do not take on more than you can handle; if you need to be alone, then honor that. If you desire the affection of others, seek it out.
• Ask for and accept help – It’s okay to tell your loved ones the best way that they can help you during this difficult time.
• Find support – Sharing your feelings is often the best way to get through them and finding people you can talk to will help. Family and friends can be a great support during times of grief. If they are unavailable, seek help from a grief support group in your area.
• Make a difference – Give to your favorite charity organization or purchase a gift for a needy child. Consider volunteering at a nursing home, hospital, hospice, children’s shelter or soup kitchen. This can help you cope with your grief by contributing to the greater good within your community.
During the holidays, it’s alright to have a good time in spite of your grief. Just allow yourself to feel whatever your heart is feeling in the moment. The best gift you can give anyone you love is that of being true to yourself and living your life to the fullest, even as you adjust to the loss of a loved one.
Healing unfolds in its own time; it doesn’t look to the clock or calendar for direction. – Jen, aimhappy.com
TIME FOR REFLECTION – JOURNAL PROMPTS
I am no longer who I was. Loss has reshaped me. – Benjamin Allen
Journaling is a powerful tool for coping with grief and loss.
• Why are you grieving?
• What is your fondest memory?
• When alone, what do you do?
• What season holds the most memories?
• The hardest time of day is ___________________.
• My support system includes __________________.
• I really need more of _____________________.
• I am really having a hard time coping with _____________________.
• I find it most difficult when ______________________.
• Some of my grief triggers are ________________________.
SHARE YOUR COMMENTS
How do you cope with grief? Do you allow yourself to feel during this most difficult time?
Believe in yourself today, tomorrow and forever!
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Something to Think About – Those who think there is a time limit when grieving, have never lost a piece of their heart.
Welcome back to Renew Inspiration! Sweet November is here. November holds a special place in my heart. November is National Adoption Awareness Month and my mother’s birthday is on November 29th.
I didn’t give you the gift of life, life gave me the gift of you. – Unknown Author
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November is recognized as National Adoption Awareness Month. For over two decades, National Adoption Month has been promoted and celebrated in communities across the United States. We must recognize the importance of providing loving and permanent families for children in the United States foster care system. In 2011, my husband and I did just that. We fostered, then adopted our two sons to help support these efforts and to grow our family. This initiative focuses on outreach and builds awareness throughout the month of November. Let’s help celebrate this month by spreading the word and helping our children find loving and safe homes.
Adopt a child…if you can’t adopt,
Foster a child…if you can’t foster,
Sponsor a child…if you can’t sponsor,
Volunteer at a local agency or homeless shelter…if you can’t volunteer,
Donate to a local agency or charity of your choice…if you can’t donate,
Spread the word and educate others!
A child born to another woman calls me mommy. The magnitude of that tragedy and the depth of that privilege are not lost on me. – Jody Landers
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Needless to say, my emotions are all over the place around this time of the year. It’s so ironic how my mother was born in November 1942 around the Thanksgiving Holiday. Then, she became very ill around the Thanksgiving Holiday in 2015 and passed away right before the Christmas Holiday. Sometimes I wish time would stand still and I don’t have to relive the pain that comes during this time of the year. While everyone else is excited for the holidays, I dread it with everything within me. The holidays are not the same without my mother physically being here. Yes, I have memories and pictures, but it is not the same. No amount of journaling, blogging or therapy sessions will save you from the emotional turmoil that you experience and feel throughout the grieving process.
Grief never ends, but it changes. It’s a passage, but not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith, it is the price of love. – Unknown Author
Even though there are 5 stages of grief and loss, people who are grieving do not necessarily go through the stages in the same order or experience all of them. The stages of grief and mourning are universal in nature and are experienced by people from all walks of life, across many cultures. Mourning occurs in our lives in response to an individual’s own terminal illness, the loss of a close relationship, or to the death of a valued being, human or animal. While mourning, we spend different lengths of time working through each step and express each stage with different levels of intensity.
5 STAGES OF GRIEF & LOSS – On Death and Dying written by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
Loss and heartache do not define you. They are part of your story. – Unknown Author
• Denial & Isolation – The first reaction is to deny and isolate yourself from the reality of the situation. Most people block out the painful words and hide from the facts. Some people will believe that nothing is of any value any more, not even life itself. For most people, this stage of grief and loss is a temporary response that carries us through the first wave of pain.
• Anger – As denial and isolation leaves us, reality and its pain re-emerge. Now, the intense emotion people feel turns into anger. The anger may be toward objects, complete strangers, friends or family. Even though deep down inside the person knows this feeling of anger is wrong, they may even be directing it toward dying or deceased loved ones as well.
• Bargaining – In the next stage, there are feelings of helplessness and vulnerability as a way to regain control through a series of “if only” statements, such as “If only we had sought medical attention sooner” or “If only we got a second opinion from another doctor.” Unfortunately, this is an attempt to bargain with God or our higher power in order to postpone our pain. Guilt often accompanies bargaining as well. The person believes there was something they could have done differently to have helped save their loved ones’ life.
• Depression – In the next stage, the person may start to be overwhelmed with sadness or regret which turns into worry. This phase may be eased by simple reassurance from others around them. Another phase of depression is when the person is more private and tries to bid a farewell to their loved one in silence. In this case, a hug or a kind gesture will comfort them.
• Acceptance – Reaching this stage of grieving is a gift not afforded to everyone. Death may be sudden and unexpected, or we may never see beyond our anger or denial. Unfortunately, this phase is marked by withdrawal and calm.
Please keep in mind that everyone grieves differently. There is no right or wrong way. Some people will wear their emotions on their face and be outwardly emotional. Other people will experience their grief more internally and may not cry at all. Remember, do not judge how a person experiences their grief, as each person will experience it differently.
Grief is not a disorder, a disease or sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve. – Earl Grollman
When I Think of Death written by Maya Angelou
When I think of death, and of late the idea has come with alarming frequency, I seem at peace with the idea that a day will dawn when I will no longer be among those living in this valley of strange humors. I can accept the idea of my own demise, but I am unable to accept the death of anyone else. I find it impossible to let a friend or relative go into that country of no return. Disbelief becomes my dose companion, and anger follows in its wake. I answer the heroic question ‘Death, where is thy sting?’ with ‘it is here in my heart and mind memories.’
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TIME FOR REFLECTION – COPING WITH GRIEF
It’s hard to forget someone; who gave you so much to remember. – Unknown Author
• Pick a quote. One that you like seems to be the most obvious choice, but you also might find it helpful to write about a quote that you feel yourself wanting to push away from.
• Write about what you find meaningful in the quote. How does it fit with your own journey and learning?
• Write about what you resist in the quote. What makes it hard to live with?
• What invitation do you feel in the quote?
• What do you need in your life to live into the invitation?
No matter how long it’s been, there are times when it suddenly becomes hard to breathe. – Unknown Author
• Today, I am really missing…
• I am having a hard time with…
• The hardest time of day is…
• The hardest time of the year is…
• I have been feeling a lot of…
• I could use some more…
• I find it helpful when…
• I feel most connected with my loved one when I…
• A comforting memory of my loved one is…
• I can honor my loved one by…
SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS/COMMENTS
Have you ever thought about fostering or adopting a child from a local agency? If so, please share your experiences.
Coping with grief and loss is ultimately a deeply personal experience. Nobody can help you go through it more easily or understand all the emotions that you’re going through. But loved ones and friends can be there for you to help comfort you through the process. The best thing you can do is to allow yourself to feel the grief as it comes over you. Remember, as long as there is life, there is hope. As long as there is hope, there is life.
Have you experienced any stages of grief? If so, how did you cope throughout the stages? Were you alone and isolated or did you allow your family/friends to comfort you?
Believe in yourself today, tomorrow and forever!
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Welcome back to Renew Inspiration! Did you know that there are journals for just about everything that goes on in your life? Well, I want to spend some time discussing just a few journal types that helps me cope with the lost of my mother (the grieving process), the emptiness that I feel inside (depression), the various stresses of life that I experience often (looking for part-time work and parenting children with hearing loss) and allowing my creative juices to flow while writing (Renew Inspiration blog and HubGarden articles).
Journaling is my safe place, my time to just write how I feel and scream on paper and no one will ever know. Let’s take a moment to define journal. A journal is a personal reflection of who you are, it’s a repository for all the things that interest and inspire you. A journal provides a safe environment to experiment with your writing style and technique. Simply put, when you write in a journal it becomes your personal journey of creative and heart felt thoughts.
Benefits of Journaling:
• Reduce stress – Expressive writing has been shown to lower stress levels.
• Improve your memory – Regular journal writing can improve your short-term memory.
• Stay organized – Keeping a journal such as a weight loss diary lets you maintain an organized record of your progress and journey.
Journaling Tips:
• Keep a regular writing schedule so journaling becomes a habit.
• Don’t over think your written entries, just write honestly.
• Be creative. Add photos and positive quotes to enhance your written entries.
Types of Journals:
Bible Journal – Bible Journals can provide you with a therapeutic way to better cope with everyday situations, understand your feelings and establish a connection between your life and the biblical content. Include notes, scriptures, life lessons and examples, pictures, quotes, questions, etc.
Bible Journal Prompts:
• What is your favorite scripture and why?
• What values do you want to live by? Find a scripture to support your values.
• In what area of my life do I need to improve self-discipline?
Gratitude Journal – Gratitude Journals allow you to recognize, appreciate and record pleasant occurrences in your life. Also, you can include blessings, special moments of authentic happiness and contentment. Include what you are grateful for, personal thoughts, quotes, stickers, etc.
Gratitude Journal Prompts:
• What are you grateful for?
• What would my ideal day look like?
• What is one thing that I can do to change my attitude?
Prayer Journal – Prayer Journals allow you to deepen your relationship with God by writing down your prayers every day. Learn by reflecting on prayers that have been answered, and others that haven’t. Include prayers, scriptures, personal thoughts, self-reflection notes, quotes, etc.
Prayer Journal Prompts:
• What is one thing I could do this month to improve my prayer life and spiritual walk? Hint – Start a Prayer Journal.
• What is one thing I can do today that would promote a gentle and quiet spirit within me? Hint – Read a scripture, pray or meditate.
• Do you think God will answer your prayers? Why or why not?
Reading Journal – Reading Journals can be a place to store your personal reactions to what you’re reading. Writing down your responses will allow you to discover how you feel about the book itself, the characters, scenery or plot. Include the book(s) you are reading, personal thoughts, emotional responses, connect the book to your own life, questions you may have about the book(s), connect with the characters, etc.
Reading Journal Prompts:
• What is your favorite book and why?
• What is one book you’d like to read before the end of 2018?
• If I was given the opportunity to write a book, I would write about….
Scrapbook Journal – Scrapbook Journals is a cross between scrapbooking, journaling, collaging and sketching pictures to tell a story or to highlight a special memory. Include pictures, personal thoughts, quotes, stickers, etc.
Scrapbook Journal Prompts:
• Do you consider yourself being a creative person?
• How do you like to retell a story or special memory?
• What is one thing that I can do this week to improve my creativity? Travel Journal – Travel Journals are a place where you can write about trips you have taken, what you learned during and after the trip. Include adventures, stories, memories, pictures, personal thoughts, culture, customs, the people you met/saw, favorite places you visited, quotes, etc.
Travel Journal Prompts:
• What makes this trip special to you?
• What are you planning to do on this trip?
• Take time to reflect on the location, people, the customs and the food.
5 Tips for Capturing your Best Journal Ideas:
1. Take your journal everywhere you go to capture those special thoughts or moments as they happen. If your journal is too big, you can always buy a small notebook to use while you are on the go. Then, transfer or glue your notes in your journal at a later time.
2. Select a journal that feels right to you. You can purchase a beautifully crafted handmade journal, a hardcover book with unlined pages, a softcover notebook with lined pages, a 3-ring binder with loose paper, or just a spiral notebook. It really doesn’t matter your style, just make sure that your journal feels right to you and you can comfortably use it to capture your thoughts.
3. Handwrite your journal entries so you are unable to edit your thoughts. Handwriting keeps things more spontaneous and gives you clues about your emotional state. If you’re anything like me, you can tell what you’re feeling just by analyzing the state of your writing.
4. Create an informal table of contents in the beginning of each journal. Number each page and try to list the topics covered as you go along. This makes finding stuff a lot easier down the road or when you just want to reflect on some of your past writings. Don’t worry about doing this each time you journal, but make sure to complete this step before starting your next journal.
5. Don’t worry about format, grammar, or spelling. Remember, this is your personal space and a written account for how you feel right now in this very moment. Don’t worry about following your traditional writing rules, just write.
So, whether you are currently writing in a journal on a regular basis or you would like to start, these journaling highlights should help you on your journal writing journey. Go ahead and grab your journal and write your ideas so you’re able to retrieve your thoughts whenever needed. Your journal holds your pertinent life information, so you can remember and reference at any time in your future. Believe in yourself today, tomorrow, and forever!
I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU
If you do keep a journal, please share some of your writing experiences or the types of journals you like to keep; organizing tips and techniques; pros and cons of journaling; journaling tips that help you continue your journey. We learn from one another, so your comments are necessary for all of us to learn and grow. I look forward to reading your feedback! Renew Inspiration is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates and Target Affiliate Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com and Target.com
May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope is in you -Psalm 25:21
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Happy Sunday and greetings to you! Let’s talk about hope on today. Hope is another one of those words that can be defined on a personal level and may change from situation to situation; or person to person. According to the Webster Dictionary, hope is defined as a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen; a feeling of trust.
But what does hope mean to you? Do you hope for anything great on today or in the near future? When I think of hope, I think of beauty and positive vibes. Hope is like a beautiful flower that thrives on sunlight and water. In a spiritual sense, hope relies on your daily commitment to God’s Word, meditation, and prayer.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. -Romans 15:13
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Now, the flip side of this conversation is how pain can bring about hopelessness in our lives as the enemy relentlessly attempts to destroy us. But God holds His hand out to us every day. The wonderful hope of God’s good plans for our lives, hope that is rooted in God’s amazing love for us. My hope for you today is that you will work on building and strengthening your relationship with God for the rest of your life. This process will increase your confidence in God’s love for you and will nurture your hope in Him, hope for this life as well as for life eternal.
When the world says, “give up.” Hope whispers “try it one more time.” -Unknown
Did you know that having hope will give you courage in the midst of a storm? Despite what you may be experiencing in your life right now, never stop believing in hope because miracles happen every day. The importance of hope is immeasurable. Many of us need to look forward to the future. Hope is what helps us deal with grief, find positives in our current situation, help us continue searching for something better, and to have faith that everything will work out.
A good teacher can inspire hope, ignite the imagination, and instill a love of learning. -Unknown
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.
-Winston Churchill
Reflections:
Hope is seeing light in spite of being surrounded by darkness.
Hope is the only thing stronger than fear.
Hope is the ability to hear the melody of the future. Faith is the courage to dance to it today.
Journal Prompts:
• How do you define hope?
• What do you hope for each day?
• I feel hopeful/hopeless because…
• Name at least 5 things you are hopeful for. Then, take a moment and reflect upon each thing.
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Hope Journal:
A Hope Journal is a small binder full of cards, notes, prayers, inspirational quotes, bible verses, songs, or photos that is meant to cheer someone up during hard times.
When I first started the Renew Inspiration blog, my thought process was to write inspirational pieces that would not only inspire you, but also would keep you thinking of ways to overcome life changing events, such as the death of a loved one. Honestly, I would love to have a real dialogue with you concerning this topic. Do you think that it is possible to overcome grief in your life time? Now, I know that’s a deep question and I am sure that everyone reading this blog would probably give a different answer. For me, I often ask myself if I would ever overcome the grief that I feel each and every day. I do realize that everyone handles grief differently, but the pain of losing someone you dearly love can be overwhelming for most people. Would you agree?
The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower. Psalm 18:2
When you are broken in pieces and experiencing so much pain, God can seem distant and even uncaring while you are in this vulnerable, yet lonely place. But before you throw in the towel or choose to give up on living life to the fullest, know that God promises in His Word to be with you always and to give you comfort in the midst of your storm, so whatever your feelings are suggesting to you in this very dark moment, know that God is with you always.
For this God is our God for ever and ever: he will be our guide even unto death. Psalm 48:14
Here’s another twist to an already complicated situation, but it is something for you to think about. While you are trying to overcome grief and wondering if God still loves you, then comes the faith concept to help put everything in total perspective. As we venture through our lives on Earth, we have faith in a God that we cannot see. I have always been taught to have faith in God, to read my Bible, and to say my faith-based prayers, but deep down inside I have always wondered how strong my faith really was in a God that I could not see. When my mom passed away in December 2015, my faith in God was tested to the fullest! I read my Bible, prayed and meditated until I received my break through. Then, I started writing in my journal constantly and that’s how Renew Inspiration was created.
For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God. Ephesians 2:8
So, what is faith and how do you define it?
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1
Faith can be defined as confidence, trust, assurance, conviction, and belief. Faith means trusting that God is in control, even when our faith is put to the test. In other words, faith is not just what we believe in our hearts, our religious doctrine or denominational creed, but also and more importantly, faith is a solid conviction within that what we believe and whom we believe in are worth staking our lives on. Would you agree?
For we walk by faith, not by sight. II Corinthians 5:7
Along this journey called life, we have to open our hearts and minds to a true understanding of life’s many challenges and faith, of what it is and what it is not, in our lives and abroad. It’s important to know that faith is something to be experienced and exercised, not defined, categorized, and neatly packaged on a shelf. Faith rests on a solid foundation. The evidence is everywhere before our eyes. Go ahead, look around you right now, in this very moment. God is able to persuade our hearts and our minds to put our trust in Him. When we find faith, we will know it because God will open our spiritual eyes to see that faith is our loyalty and devotion to God. So, when you are wondering how strong your faith is, just look up, smile, and say that I have faith in God that everything will be okay!
I choose faith over anxiety hope over worry love over fear -Mary Davis
God has a purpose for your pain, a reason for your struggle and a reward for your faithfulness. Trust Him and don’t give up -Dave Willis
Let your faith be bigger than your fear -Unknown
Those we love don’t go away, they walk beside us every day. Unseen, unheard, but always near, so loved, so missed, so very dear -Kay Berry
Journal Prompts:
• The area where I need to put more trust in God is …
• I find I feel God’s presence most when …
• God is leading me to make the following changes …
• Sometimes I get angry with God about …
• I feel most distant from God when …
